how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I've blown a few things in my day
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
