my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
