hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
