thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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