it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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