How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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