We're like a lot better than the average bears
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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