$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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