That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
