D3 body, D1 cock
Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize