I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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