It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
The power of my boobs compel you
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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