There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize