what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
