i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
They have beer where we have blood.
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