discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
