i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
