I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
True college students do jello shots in the library
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
