At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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