Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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