problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
