I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
