Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
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