That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
