But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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