At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
