You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
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