Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
