I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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