did you get engaged???
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Randomize
