he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
