My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
