I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
