I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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