you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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