she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Randomize
