Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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