We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
