is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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