Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
