What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
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