In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Randomize
