From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
