his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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