You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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