The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
