help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
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