The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
How does it feel to date your dad?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
