We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
