beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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