I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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