she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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