Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
