i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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