I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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