We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
