Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize