butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I just made out with a guy for $7.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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